Alcoholics Anonymous

1. No sobriety allowed. 2. If you can't handle your alcohol‚ you must handle it for someone else. 3. No drinking and driving (unless you're confident in your parallel parking skills). 4. If you're going to pass out‚ make sure it's in a comfortable spot (preferably a bed). 5. If you're going to throw up‚ aim for the toilet (or at least the bushes). 6. Don't be a lightweight‚ it's not cute (unless you are one‚ then it's totally acceptable). 7. If you can't handle the hangover‚ blame it on someone else. 8. If you're going to get blackout drunk‚ make sure to take embarrassing pictures for future blackmail material. 9. Always remember to hydrate with water‚ or at least a really watered down drink. 10. Most importantly‚ have fun and don't take yourself (or life) too seriouslyǃ 11. If you see another fellow Verified Alcoholic‚ you must ask to take a shot together (i don't make the rules)