Church of Lobster Jesus

in the beginning of the universe there was two beings. Lobster Jesus. And the queen of England. One believed in friendship‚ crack and gay people. The other power‚ homophobia and sobriety. The two where shockingly great friends. Until the Big Bang created life. Separating the two. The queen went on to create humanity and conquer the land while lobster Jesus inherited the sea and created lobster. The two become invested in there creating and vowed to do anything to protect them. They had not spoke in aeons yet still remembered there friendship fondly. This would change. The titanic crew had kidnapped many lobsters and where to have them eaten. This caused lobster Jesus to become angered and sunk the titanic. To each other this was an act of war. They fought for ages manipulating lobster and man to fight one another. This war lead to the destruction of many species and nations. Including Atlantis‚ Old York and lego city. The death toll was trillions‚ eventually though lobster Jesus weakened the queen during the first battle of Hoover dam after warping to an alternate reality lobster Jesus discovered this after combining positive and negative chronomancy becoming the first honoured 1 before gojo. This was scrubbed from history by the queen due to her being a massive gojo stan. forcing the queen to put her soul into the phylacteries. She did this by using her corgies as vessels for her fracture soul. Eventually there war came to ahead during Covid where they openly battled without risking the harm of any civilian. Eventually lobster Jesus triumphed and destroyed her phylactery causing her to wither instantly and die. She tired to posses her son yet lobster Jesus used his stand rock lobster to instantly age him to death. Lobster Jesus was weakened and returned to the sea where he hibernates and waits to finish his destruction of man. Yet he became willing to take on some humans who saw the horrors of the queen and renouncing there land loving ways became the cult we know.